Be kind, not nice.

Today I would like to invite you to explore with me your boundaries. So let's sit together with our cups of tea 😊 and chat.

For too long, being too nice has been mistaken for being virtuous. But in reality, it often becomes a burden that weighs down your true potential. Unchecked niceness can lead to a life of compromise—where your dreams, goals, and values take a backseat just to please others. The world is not kind to those who constantly put themselves last. And I know that highly likely your ability to put others first stems from your childhood, trauma, or it's been like that for far too long and it's hard to even think how can it change. I believe in you. I am myself recovering people- pleaser. I understand.

In 2025, it's time to reclaim your power, confidence, and boundaries. The harsh truth is that the world respects those who respect themselves. When you are too nice, you unknowingly train people to undervalue your time, energy, and worth. You become the person who is always available, always agreeable, and always willing to go the extra mile for others. But how often is that kindness reciprocated?

This cycle often stems from a fear of rejection. You don’t want to upset anyone, be seen as difficult, or lose relationships. But life is too short to live for other people’s expectations. You need to prioritise yourself unapologetically. This doesn’t mean you stop helping others; it means you help others without abandoning yourself. Be kind but not nice.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Niceness, when overdone, is like giving away pieces of yourself until there’s nothing left. You become a shell of who you once were—drained and unfulfilled. But here’s the truth: you have the power to stop the cycle. You have the power to say no, to walk away, and to prioritize your own needs without guilt.

This year, commit to yourself. Commit to being kind—but not at the expense of your own well-being. Decide that your kindness will no longer be a weakness. Instead, let it be your strength. Be kind, but firm. If you don’t take a stand for yourself, who will?

It’s time to stop worrying about being liked by everyone. The truth is, no matter how nice you are, there will always be people who criticize, misunderstand, or take advantage of you. So why waste your time trying to win them over? Focus instead on earning your own respect. Build a life that fulfills you, not one designed to please everyone else. Mindfulness helps us to regain connection with ourselves and stop being reactive to our fears and assumptions.

Being firm and kind doesn’t make you a bad person—it makes you a strong person. It shows that you value yourself enough to command respect. You are a force to be reckoned with, not a doormat to be stepped on. Don’t confuse being nice with being valuable. Your value doesn’t come from how much you do for others or how agreeable you are. Your value comes from your character, skills, and integrity.

Being too nice often overshadows these qualities, making people see only your compliance—not your brilliance. In 2025, let your true value shine, unfiltered and unapologetic.

Remember: setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. It’s a way of telling the world, I matter too. It’s a declaration of self-worth. When you set boundaries and protect your time and energy, you allow yourself to show up as your best self. You cannot give your best to others if you are constantly drained, resentful, and overextended. Boundaries are the ultimate form of self-care.

This year, make a promise to yourself: you will no longer let guilt be a weapon used to control you. Guilt only works if you allow it to. Whenever you feel guilty for saying no, remind yourself—you are not rejecting them; you are choosing yourself. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Make this year to step out of the shadows of niceness and into the light of self-respect. This transformation won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. You may lose some relationships, but the ones that matter will stay. You may face criticism, but you will grow stronger. Most importantly, you will finally live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

By choosing to stop being too nice, you are choosing freedom. Freedom from the expectations of others. Freedom from manipulation. Freedom from the endless cycle of self-sacrifice.

This is your time to rise. Reclaim your power. Show the world what you are truly capable of. I believe in you.

When a Partner or Friend Crosses Emotional Boundaries

❌ Nice Response:​
​(Staying silent or downplaying how you feel to avoid conflict.)

✅ Kind Response:​
​"I feel uncomfortable when that happens, and I need us to handle things differently. Can we talk about a better way to communicate?"

When a Friend Keeps Borrowing Money Without Repaying

❌ Nice Response:​
​"It’s fine, don’t worry about it!" (Even though it’s bothering you.)

✅ Kind Response:​
​"I care about our friendship, but I can’t lend money again right now. Let’s find another way to support each other."

When Someone Keeps Cancelling Plans Last Minute

❌ Nice Response:​
​"It’s okay, maybe next time!" (Even though you feel hurt and unprioritized.)

✅ Kind Response:​
​"I understand things come up, but I plan my time around our meetups. Let’s set a time that works for both of us, or we can pause making plans for now."