The Power of a Good Ending in Therapy

There’s something sacred about the space we create together in therapy. Week after week, we meet in honesty and vulnerability. Sometimes with tears. Sometimes in silence. Often with courage. It’s a space where trust is slowly built—layer by layer, moment by moment.

But what happens when that space suddenly vanishes?

Over the years as a therapist, I’ve witnessed the quiet devastation that comes with abrupt and unplanned endings. And I’ve experienced it too—on both sides of the room. Whether due to circumstances beyond our control, avoidance, fear, or simply poor communication, these endings can leave deep marks. I know because I carry some of them with me still.

When therapy ends without acknowledgment, it can feel like emotional whiplash. For the client, it might reinforce painful core beliefs: I’m too much. I’m not worth the time. People always leave. For the therapist, it can evoke worry, sadness, or a sense of unfinished care. It breaks something that was carefully and compassionately built—and we both feel it.

I still think about the clients I didn’t get to say goodbye to. The ones whose stories I held with care, who perhaps never knew how deeply I honoured their bravery. When sessions just stop—without a closing ritual, reflection, or space to make meaning of the work—it leaves an ache. Therapy, like any meaningful relationship, deserves a mindful ending.

Endings are a part of the work

Therapy isn’t meant to last forever. In fact, a healthy ending can be one of the most empowering parts of the process. It’s a chance to look back at how far we’ve come, to honour what’s changed, to grieve what still hurts, and to celebrate the growth. A good ending provides the client with a narrative that says: This mattered. I mattered.

And it gives the therapist a moment to witness the impact of the work, to offer final affirmations, and to gently let go.

Why we avoid endings

I understand why people pull away. Endings are hard. They stir up old wounds—of abandonment, rejection, or loss. It might feel easier to disappear than to say goodbye. But avoidance is rarely healing. It leaves confusion, regret, and unspoken emotions lingering in the air.

So I gently encourage every client—no matter how difficult—to return for one last session. Even if it’s just to say, “I’m not coming back.” That small act of showing up can be deeply reparative.

As therapists, we need support too

When endings are imposed on us—by systems, employers, or decisions outside our control—it’s more than just disruption. It’s heartbreak. I’ve had roles where I wasn’t allowed time to close therapeutic relationships properly, and the grief of that lingers. Clients didn’t get their goodbyes. I didn’t get to honour the sacred work we’d done. It felt like a violation of everything I stand for in this profession.

Those experiences have shaped how fiercely I now protect the process of ending well. Not as a luxury—but as an ethical, emotional, and human necessity.

A final word

To the clients I never got to say goodbye to: I remember you. You mattered. Our time mattered.

To anyone reading who’s considering ending therapy—please know that a thoughtful closing session can offer you something meaningful and whole. It’s a chance to own your story, thank yourself for the work, and step forward with clarity and care.

And to fellow therapists—hold space for your own grief in these endings. It’s real. And it’s okay to feel it.

With heart,

Alicja