Healing Out Loud: A Therapist’s Personal Stand Against Workplace Bullying. The Silence That Harmed

When Healing Means Speaking the Truth: Why I Created a Project for Workplace Bullying Survivors
By Alicja Raffray – Soul Healing Counselling, Jersey

Some wounds don’t bleed—but they leave scars that shape your entire life.

Workplace bullying nearly broke me.
And I say that without drama, without exaggeration, and without shame.
It shattered my confidence, invaded my sleep, triggered physical illness, and left me questioning everything I knew about myself. What hurt most wasn’t the insults or the manipulation—it was the gaslighting, the isolation, threat and blackmail, and the silence of those who knew and said nothing.

I learned, through blood and grit, that bullying doesn’t just happen in playgrounds. It happens in offices, hospitals, boardrooms, and charity organisations. It’s dressed in polite smiles, weaponised policies, and backdoor conversations. It thrives in environments where fear trumps ethics and image matters more than people.

I’ve worked in some of those environments. Places where leadership quoted mental health policies while punishing those who spoke up. Places where bullying was systemic. I left with a smile on my face and trauma in my body.

“You didn’t fire me.
You just made it unbearable to stay.
You cornered me with silence,
Drowned me in workload,
Stripped away the basics—
A clean space, fair pay,
Respect.

You watched me give everything.
You watched me run on fumes.
You called me dedicated—
Until I needed care.
Then I was too much.
Too emotional.
Too difficult.
Too inconvenient.

I gave therapy in a mouldy office
With no breaks, no backup,
No printing access,
No privacy.
You didn’t fix it.
You didn’t thank me.
You called it “normal.”

I supported dying staff.
I responded to suicide crises.
I held young people’s trauma
In my hands, in my chest, in my home—
Because there was nowhere else
For it to go.
And I showed up. Every time.

Until I couldn’t.

I asked for help.
I was met with closed doors.
I followed policy.
I was met with avoidance.
I tried to protect students—
And you protected yourselves.

I resigned—formally. Respectfully.
To preserve what little dignity I had left.
I asked to serve my full notice,
To end well.
To say goodbye.
You said no.
You said if I returned,
There would be disciplinary action.
For wanting to do my job with care.

You erased my files.
You packed my belongings.
You labelled me absent.
You lied.

I filed a complaint.
You buried it.
No investigation. No accountability.
The people who broke policy,
Broke trust,
Broke young people—
Walked away clean.

But I didn’t.
I walked away carrying grief.
Guilt. Rage.
The names of students who never
Got to say goodbye.
The silence of colleagues
Who knew better
But said nothing.

You spoke of values.
Of culture.
Of kindness.
What you meant was compliance.
What you demanded was silence.

But here I am.
Still speaking.
Still standing.
Still healing others
While stitching myself back together.

This poem is not for you.
It’s for the ones who’ve been gaslit,
Discarded,
Labeled problematic
For naming the harm.
For refusing to stay small.

To you I say:

You are not fragile.
You were forced to break
In a place that asked too much
And gave nothing back.

You are not alone.
You are not imagining it.
And you are not done.

We don’t burn out because we’re weak.
We burn out because we were fire
In a place that feared the light.

And we are still burning”.

I wrote that poem because I needed language for what had happened to me—and what still happens to so many others.

I run my own counselling practice in Jersey—Soul Healing Counselling. And I swore that if I ever found solid ground again, I would offer something to those still clawing their way out of that darkness. You are not alone.

That’s why I created the Healing From Workplace Bullying Project.
It’s my way of giving back. Of fighting back, quietly but powerfully.

From July to December 2025, I’m offering up to 6 fully funded 90-minute sessions to people recovering from workplace bullying. These sessions are trauma-informed, client-led, and held with care. A dedicated time in my calendar—Tuesdays at 13:30pm—has been set aside exclusively for this project.

The only requirement?
Clients must be referred by their GP.

That boundary matters. It protects my time, my energy, and the integrity of this work. It also ensures that those coming into this space are truly ready for healing—not just venting, not just surviving, but beginning to recover.

This project isn’t therapy-as-usual.
It’s a statement. A promise. A refusal to pretend that workplace trauma is rare or insignificant.

Because here’s the brutal truth:

• Workplace bullying causes burnout, anxiety, PTSD, and suicidal ideation.

• It costs the UK economy over £18 billion a year in lost productivity, absence, and turnover.

• It’s one of the least understood and least addressed forms of trauma.

And yet, the ones who suffer are often the ones told to be more resilient, more professional, more quiet.

I’m not quiet anymore.
Not about this.

If you’ve been there—if you’re still there—I want you to know this space exists. It’s safe. It’s structured. It’s real.
And you deserve to heal.

Alicja