Why Are We All So Exhausted?A gentle exploration for anyone who wakes up tired and goes to bed tired

If you’ve been feeling constantly exhausted — not just on busy days, not just occasionally, but almost all the time — you’re not alone. More and more people around the world are describing a deep, ongoing fatigue that sleep doesn’t fix, holidays don’t touch, and motivation can’t push through.

And many of them sit in my counseling practice and say the same sentence:

“I’m so tired… and I don’t even know why.”

This isn’t laziness.

This isn’t weakness.

And very often — it’s not quite burnout and not quite depression.

It’s something more subtle and more widespread: the exhaustion of living in a world that is constantly demanding, constantly noisy, and constantly “on”.

Let’s take a compassionate look at what this really is, why it happens, and what you can gently begin to do about it.

When tiredness becomes a way of living

There is normal tiredness: you sleep badly, you work hard, you overdo it — and after rest, some energy returns.

But then there is this other kind of tiredness, which so many people describe:

• “I wake up drained, even after eight hours.”

• “I’m functioning, but I feel disconnected from myself.”

• “Even small tasks feel overwhelming.”

• “I’m not depressed, but I’m not okay either.”

• “I don’t remember the last time I felt truly alive.”

It’s a grey area.

A fog.

A quiet depletion.

And it’s becoming more common than ever.

Why the modern world exhausts us

Our nervous systems were never designed for the pace we’re living at today. Think about the constant load we carry:

• notifications every few minutes

• endless news, often frightening

• pressure to achieve and perform

• comparison with others

• blurred boundaries between work and home

• emotional overload

• the sense of never being “caught up”

Even in moments when we’re doing “nothing”, our brains are processing noise, information, and micro-stressors. Our bodies live in low-level fight-or-flight for days, months… sometimes years.

That has a cost.

Is this burnout? Depression? Or something else?

Burnout is usually tied to work stress. It often looks like:

• emotional exhaustion

• irritability or cynicism

• feeling detached from your job

• struggling to concentrate

• needing far more effort for basic tasks

Depression, on the other hand, includes:

• long-lasting sadness

• loss of joy

• hopelessness

• physical symptoms (aches, heaviness, sleep issues)

• deep withdrawal

But many people today are not fully burned out and not clinically depressed. They’re simply depleted — emotionally, mentally, physically. It’s a sign that your system needs a different kind of care and attention.

Small signs that deserve compassion:

You might notice things like:

• feeling more overwhelmed by small tasks

• choosing scrolling over resting

• less interest in hobbies

• avoiding social plans because they feel too tiring

• irritability or emotional flatness

• “losing yourself” in the busyness of life

• struggling to think clearly or stay focused

None of these make you weak. They make you human. And they tell us your system has carried too much for too long.

Gentle steps you can begin today

I don’t believe in perfection or harsh routines. I believe in small, human steps that slowly bring you back to yourself.

1. Acknowledge the truth of your tiredness

Say it honestly, without judgement:

“I’m exhausted, and it makes sense.”

Your body is sending a message. Listening is already healing.

2. Rest that isn’t “earned”

You do not need to finish all tasks before you pause.

Ten or fifteen minutes of true rest — sitting, breathing, drinking tea — can soften your whole system.

3. A kinder relationship with sleep

Not a perfect routine. Just one small change:

• leave your phone outside the bed

• choose one consistent bedtime

• soften your breathing before sleep

Sleep is not a luxury. It’s essential maintenance.

4. Reduce one stream of information

Choose one:

• turn off one category of notifications

• eat one meal a day without your phone

• take a 10-minute walk without headphones

Your nervous system notices every bit of quiet.

5. Reintroduce one small pleasure

Not the whole hobby. Just the spark:

• one song you move your body to

• a few pages of a book

• a short walk

• writing a few lines in a journal (I love journaling and on top of that cuddling my dog in my best medicine)

Joy often returns in tiny doses first.

6. Share how you feel with someone safe

You don’t need a perfect explanation.

A simple: “I’ve been really drained lately and I’m not sure why,” is enough to open the door to connection.

How therapy can help

Counselling offers a space where your exhaustion doesn’t need to be hidden or justified. Together, we can gently explore:

• where your energy is leaking

• which pressures you’re carrying too heavily

• the emotional noise that overwhelms your system

• how to regulate your nervous system

• how to rebuild rhythms that support your wellbeing

• how to reconnect with meaning, pleasure, and a grounded sense of self

This isn’t about fixing you.

It’s about helping you come home to yourself again.

A quiet reminder, in case you need it

If you recognise yourself in this blog, please hear this:

You are not failing.

You are not “too much” or “not enough.”

You are tired — deeply, humanly tired.

And tiredness deserves care, not criticism.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

If you’d like to explore this with therapeutic support, you are very welcome to book an initial consultation with me. I’ll meet you warmly, without judgement, and we will take this one gentle step at a time.

You can book a session here:

https://www.fresha.com/book-now/soul-healing-cpu5chqu/services?lid=148247&eid=434440&oiid=sv%3A19941798&share&pId=138005

Alicja 🌱 and Ember 🐾